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But following the rules won’t get you very far in adult life.Almost everything that’s interesting, worth doing or important will meet with a degree of opposition.Practiced educators and parents should spot signs of exaggerated politeness – and treat them as the danger they are.The good child becomes a keeper of too many secrets and an appalling communicator of unpopular but important things.
They may in response disavow their desires, go cold and detached from their bodies – or perhaps give in to their longings only in a disproportionate way that is destructive to other bits of their lives and leaves them disgusted and frightened. As a child, they follow the rules; never make trouble and take care not to annoy anyone.
As a child, they may have been praised for being pure and innocent.
As they become an adult however, like all of us, they discover the ecstasies of sex, which can be beautifully perverse and excitingly disgusting.
Being properly mature involves a frank, unfrightened relationship with one’s own darkness, complexity and ambition.
It involves accepting that not everything that makes us happy will please others or be honoured as especially ‘nice’ by society – but that it can be important to explore and hold on to it nevertheless.
They are capricious and fickle, attacking without cause or warning.